Preoccupation with stuff that will burn at the end. Living for perishables, not just that which is perish-able, but the stuff that I know will soon perish. Contest, battle, fight, war…the thoughts that get away from me. The voices that distract me from seeking out Him. Good things can turn into idols very quickly when I’m not purposefully seeking out Him. When I know I should, but don’t. You can read the words without letting them in your head. You can force yourself to ponder, but not really care. It’s so easy to slip into a habit; it’s so hard to stop-or start again.
Fulfillment. The pursuit of happiness. Isn’t that what we’re all seeking? But what about going beyond happiness, what about seeking out joy? Seeking purposefully, with a will and an unbending determination. Is that possible? Or will the stuff of earth win the alligence that I owe to the Giver of all good things? It’s two steps forward and one step back; recovering that one step is not an easy thing to do. Do I have what it takes? All things are possible with God, but will I let God fight my battles on this one? There is more to life than mortal things. There are things worth fighting for, things worth struggling over until your eyes are dark and puffy, until your heart is weary and worn.
And so I will fight.The traditional remembering around Easter is easily seen as redundant. Fighting redundancy shall be my mission. C.S. Lewis says “We are far too easily pleased.” I agree. It’s easy to agree, but it’s not so easy to act on. How does one go about not being easily pleased? How do you train yourself to yearn for the immortal things that we may grasp in this life? How do you start living with open hands and unclenched fist. I don’t know. I doubt there is any formula, no ‘one size fits all’. But I will try. Fighting redundancy,and preoccupation because there are some things worth fighting for, and this is one of them. Fighting for fulfillment, and yearning, and relationship. Standing firm. Will you stand with me?
One illustration from my pastor’s sermons about the armor of God has stuck with me over the years. The illustration of the Roman shields, how they literally locked together like puzzle pieces, how they carried each others burden as well as their own. It’s a very applicable metaphor. This time I am the one struggling, fighting the blows and trying to get back up. I say it again, will you stand with me? Maybe in this fight, in the midst of the struggle and the turmoil we will find joy and fulfillment. Maybe the stuff of heaven permeates our hearts better when there is nothing else.