I can preach virtues all day long, I can rant on and on about people helping people, and having the answers, and all that jazz, but the truth is at the end of the day I’m still imperfect. I’m a screwed up human too, and half the time I don’t even know how to talk or communicate well with other humans. I fail so many times; sometimes I don’t even want to get back up again.

It’s so easy to present the gospel as a fix all, happy all the time, easy three step solution, but the truth is it’s not. This God thing is no cut and dried explanation.  On the roadmap to this journey the directions can be rather vague, and so many times I don’t understand why I have to go this way, or through this valley. Sometimes I don’t even understand looking back from the other side.

Sometimes I question, sometimes I falter, sometimes I flounder, and sometimes I fall. The fact that all of this is a part of the symphony that God sees as beautiful amazes me. Can I stop and say that? The outflowing of our hearts onto the paper of the great story; the lifting of our weary souls in a song… As I step back and look at this I too can see it as beautiful. I fall on my face and worship the Author, Conduction, Mapmaker who put this all together. Can you see the wonder of it?

When the rain falls and the world is caving in around me I have hope. Call me weak, call me strong if you like. Honestly? I don’t really care; I need hope. If you can live, and get along fine without it kudos to you. I still believe you need a healer I think everyone needs hope, but if you choose to believe otherwise, well, I won’t stand in your way.  I hope in my life that you’ll see and want what I have. I hope that despite my lack of answers, and my imperfections Jesus is seen in me, but I’m  not going to fake a fix all to entice you to believe what I do. Here on my blog you’ll see all of me, all of my journey: the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful. I’ll leave you to decide which this is.

Categories: Journey Prologues., My Life | Tags: , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “Me

  1. murtaghsgirl

    What you said about wondering the reasons for the valleys we go through reminded me of the book I’m reading about Joni Earekson Tada. It’s a really good read. I would totally suggest it.

  2. I wonder why we’re always trying to cover up our rough parts. Why we’re so ashamed. Why we think that if people really knew, they wouldn’t want God. So we try to make it look so polished and say, ‘See, look how well I’m doing, this is why you should follow Christ.’

    We’re not whole that way, though.

    And being whole is much better than having a perfect, happy life.

    Please don’t ever feel like your story is too shaky to tell. God shines brightest in shaky stories.

    • I wonder why…it is so freeing to let it all stand. Finding out who really cares, and who leaves when we reveal the ugliness of our journeys as well as the beautiful. Don’t you ever hide the shaky parts either: it’s what makes both of our stories so beautiful.

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