Compromise. Staleness. These are the things I run from. I want to be growing even as my body is dyeing. The soul lives on. I don’t believe that we’ll start from scratch when we get to heaven; I believe that we’ll ascend from the level we’re on spirituality. We may learn faster, and more accurately, but the lessons we gain here will be necessary for growth too. What are the lessons I’m acquiring right now? Where are the places I am growing? I’m struggling with the whole weaker vessel thing. I don’t exactly abhor it; it’s just irritating and confusing. Why? How does that mirror God’s image? I’m struggling with the repetition of of the steps I need to advance spiritually: it’s not that I’m not repeating them, but it just seems like they get boring.
I know, how can I say that? God is amazing, and the privilege of being His child should enthrall me. But it gets old after every. single. day. I’m still plodding, but I wish something would shock me- boost me. As she said: “There has got to be more to life than this. Because why not? If people can create such fantastic worlds in their own heads, why on earth couldn’t God’s Great Plan for real life be even better, if I really wanted it?” The truth is I don’t know because I don’t understand the big picture like God does.
Compromise. Staleness. The things I’m supposed to be running from. All it takes is just one little step…I require a lot of energy to stay motivated. This journey doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s easier to follow the highway than this deertrail through the sticks. The main road is calling. I fight against the sea of people who’ve turned back, and I set my eyes upon yet another mountain They’re going downhill. But I’m not giving up yet. That’s what Satan wants; that’s what the world wants. When I reach the end of me I know I’ll find the beginning of Him. How many have turned back two inches short of the end of their rope? Rest assured I’m not going to let that be me.
It’s tempting, but I’m still pushing on. I’m not giving up yet. I hope that’s a comfort to you, fellow travelers. His ways are higher than my ways. Sometimes it takes all the trust that I can muster to allow him to use me. but thankfully I don’t have to understand; I just have to trust and obey. As yet I can do that, so I’ll keep running from compromise and staleness into the arms of my Maker. I’ll keep fighting this uphill battle. I know He’s worth every single step.