Still Fighting

Compromise. Staleness. These are the things I run from. I want to be growing even as my body is dyeing. The soul lives on. I don’t believe that we’ll start from scratch when we get to heaven; I believe that we’ll ascend from the level we’re on spirituality. We may learn faster, and more accurately, but the lessons we gain here will be necessary for growth too. What are the lessons I’m acquiring right now? Where are the places I am growing? I’m struggling with the whole weaker vessel thing. I don’t exactly abhor it; it’s just irritating and confusing. Why? How does that mirror God’s image? I’m struggling with the repetition of of the steps I need to advance spiritually: it’s not that I’m not repeating them, but it just seems like they get boring.

I know, how can I say that? God is amazing, and the privilege of being His child should enthrall me. But it gets old after every. single. day. I’m still plodding, but I wish something would shock me- boost me. As she said:  “There has got to be more to life than this. Because why not?  If people can create such fantastic worlds in their own heads, why on earth couldn’t God’s Great Plan for real life be even better, if I really wanted it?”  The truth is I don’t know because I don’t understand the big picture like God does.

Compromise. Staleness. The things I’m supposed to be running from. All it takes is just one little step…I require a lot of energy to stay motivated. This journey doesn’t come naturally to me. It’s easier to follow the highway than this deertrail through the sticks. The main road is calling. I fight against the sea of people who’ve turned back, and I set my eyes upon yet another mountain  They’re going downhill. But I’m not giving up yet. That’s what Satan wants; that’s what the world wants. When I reach the end of me I know I’ll find the beginning of Him. How many have turned back two inches short of the end of their rope? Rest assured I’m not going to let that be me.

It’s tempting, but I’m still pushing on. I’m not giving up yet. I hope that’s a comfort to you, fellow travelers. His ways are higher than my ways. Sometimes it takes all the trust that I can muster to allow him to use me. but thankfully I don’t have to understand; I just have to trust and obey. As yet I can do that, so I’ll keep running from compromise and staleness into the arms of my Maker. I’ll keep fighting this uphill battle. I know He’s worth every single step.

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Categories: My Life, rants | Tags: , , , , | 7 Comments

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7 thoughts on “Still Fighting

  1. I don’t believe that we’ll start from scratch when we get to heaven

    Certainly Scripture does not indicate that we will start from scratch. I am no expert on the hereafter, and can only ponder what I have read. So I ponder the second half of your statement, “I believe that we’ll ascend from the level we’re on spirituality. We may learn faster, and more accurately, but the lessons we gain here will be necessary for growth too

    How do you see this idea relating to what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13, “For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” If the imperfect disappears, and then we shall know fully (as God already fully knows us), and be finished growing, what does that mean?

    Not trying to make you come up with all the answers….just poking you to think.

    Rundy

    • And I appreciate poking more than you can know. Looking at several translations of the verse I see that the beginning part (“...we know in part and we prophesy…”etc) indicates that we won’t need those gifts anymore. I think that this rings true with a lot of what we are learning here on earth. The next part (“…the imperfect disappears.”) Is translated similarly in the NLT, and God’s word translation: “But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.” I wonder if that is what it means? I wish I knew the exact meaning of that word.

      Obviously I will not disagree with the Bible, but I find it difficult to reconcile with the assumption that we will have to start from scratch again. I believe that we will see things in a new light, and that many of the things we have had to learn to cope with in this fallen will be useless. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I find it hard, at least in human terms, to believe that I’ll have to start a relationship I’ve been building nearly all of my life over again. Thanks again for the challenge. I need other people to keep me in line.

      • I didn’t mean to come across as implying (nor do I think Paul teaches) that in the new creation we start our relationships over from scratch. Far from it!

        But let me back up a bit. When Paul says elsewhere “But someone may ask, ‘How are the dead raised? With what kind of body will they come?’ How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. When you sow, you do not plant the body that will be, but just a seed” (see 1 Cor. 15:35 ff) he is chiding the Corinthians because they are trying to understand their future bodies (and life) in terms of this world, and Paul is trying to open their eyes to the reality that the future in store for them is beyond their present feeble minds. The same is true for all of us. In some way we each try to grasp in our minds what God has in store for us, and the thoughts of our mind do a disservice to the wonders yet to come.

        I think each of us tends to envision the reality of the new creation in terms of our own personality. In reflecting on your original statement, and my own thoughts, I realized I tended to think of eternity as being spent ever growing in a greater knowledge of God. I realized this conception reflected my own present personal penchant for thinking and so (surprise, surprise!) my image of the future glory was something like where we all sat around thinking about God. Your personal conception may run more along an idea where the focus is on inter-personal relationships. I realized that (as best as I can recall) there really is no Scripture which backs up my conception of how we will be preoccupied into eternity.

        In fact, when you get down to it, Scripture does not go into details about what we will be doing. We certainly will be with Christ, and it will be wonderful, and we will certainly be glorifying God, but Scripture is rather deliberately silent on the nitty-gritty. What is emphasized is that this present mode of life will be done. I take Paul’s point in 1 Cor. 13 to be that those many things which form such a great part of our present existence (teaching, prophesy, faith, hope, etc) will be completed with the end of this present age. When we see Christ face to face, we no longer need faith or hope because we have sight, and so on with prophesy, etc. The one thing from our present experience which will abide as a continuing reality is love.

        But enough of my pondering. What I was attempting to touch on obliquely before, and I hope you will allow me to humbly suggest more directly, is that the connection you drew (in your current post) between this present life and the future is in need of clarity. In regards to the present, you correctly meditate upon the striving and struggle of this current life. But your connection of continuation of the same in the future, I say, is off. Paul speaks about the end of this current life as “finishing the race.” The End. You don’t continue that race in the next life. It is not that we then start over from scratch–no, in the new creation we are moving on to better things!

        We are given this great promise, “Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2). In a flash, in a twinkling of an eye, when you see the Lord Jesus face to face you become like him. And if you have become like him, all those things you struggle with in this present life are turned into completion. All of that striving is done. Where ever we are in our walk with God when we exit this present life, if we are in Christ God grants us the perfection of Christ for our future life. We are not given eternity to continue working on the same things of this present age. No, God has better things in store than that. You won’t be starting your relationships over, you will be moving on to the next stage which is so much more wonderful that we cannot imagine what it contains.

        I hope in some way that is a bit of encouragement. It certainly is a difficult subject, and there is no shame in being perplexed by it.

        P.S. should you ever have time I would be interested in your further thoughts (maybe another post some day) on “I’m struggling with the whole weaker vessel thing. I don’t exactly abhor it; it’s just irritating and confusing.” People apply the “weaker vessel” thing in a lot of different ways, so I’m not exactly sure which particular (of many) conception(s) you are referring too.

        Sorry about this comment being so long.

        Rundy

      • “In some way we each try to grasp in our minds what God has in store for us, and the thoughts of our mind do a disservice to the wonders yet to come.”
        So true. The more I learn the more I realize that I can’t grasp God and His plans.

        “In regards to the present, you correctly meditate upon the striving and struggle of this current life. But your connection of continuation of the same in the future, I say, is off. Paul speaks about the end of this current life as “finishing the race.” The End. You don’t continue that race in the next life. It is not that we then start over from scratch–no, in the new creation we are moving on to better things!”
        You are right. My little mind can’t begin to grasp the better things, and so I wrongly try to shove them into my little reality. God doesn’t fit in boxes. As far as heaven goes (which is ironically infinity larger than I can imagine) I’m not scared of it like some people. I trust that it will be, in short, good. I struggle with the concept of not growing, of not doing. I trust that we will be growing and doing more and better things than I can understand, but I still struggle with that sometimes. It is a difficult subject, but it is one worth pondering even if we won’t ever fully comprehend it.

        P.S. That post may come. I have it written out in longhand. I’m fighting with myself over posting it and weather it truly points people to God (which is my goal here) or to me and my struggle. If it encourages doubt or trust…but ultimately it embodies honesty so it will probably end up on here eventually. No comment is ever too long. I’ll probably end up posting a book on your blog sometime too.

        Thank you ever so much for commenting,
        V.

  2. When you find that FEAR is pounding on your door….send FAITH to answer it. Faith is trusting without reservations. Stand in the strength of our Lord Jesus Christ for He is our strong tower in every season of our lives. God Bless You & Keep You embraced in His loving presense. ~Sincerely Cindy

  3. Nastya Andreyevna

    I know.

    I struggle with staying motivated, too. My enthusiasm bucket seems to have a nice hole in it, and water leaks out faster than I can refill it.

    I think this is the nastiest part – this boringness. Even fighting a bloody battle is better than this, because at least you’re doing something. I guess that means this is also, really, the HARDEST part.

    I feel like God’s been teaching me alot about endurance lately. ‘In your patience possess ye your souls’…and that’s really true. Because you can be strong and brave and full of faith, but at the end of the day, if you can’t press on, all those other virtues haven’t helped you.

    We’ve just got to keep obeying. It’ll get better. I absolutely believe in those fantastic worlds, and I’m pretty sure this is the road that gets us there, so WE’LL GET THIS.

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