I am slow to make plans. I like things to be somewhat predictable, though not scheduled. I often wait until the last-minute to make choices. I have few certain ideas about my future. Now you have vague idea of who I am, so imagine this: a person with those qualities being bombarded with college brochures, endless options, and an open world. ‘Inquiring minds want to know what you plan to do with the rest of y our life.’ Tons of ‘Such and such a college is best for you’ brochures. Options, sign ups, test prep, majors, decisions, opinions… and the list goes on.
Sometimes I feel backed into a corner: small and insignificant. Sometimes I feel the need to be different, and to use my life wisely. Sometimes I want a bit of silence; for the voices to go away. I’ve been listening for God’s elusive will among the voices at least a little, though probably not enough. I’ve been handed insightful bible verses, interesting reads, and great wisdom from various speakers, but I still don’t have the answers to the questions that will direct my life.
Maybe God is saying wait. I’ve never done especially well with that answer. Instinctive patience is not a gift that I possess. What do I tell those inquiring minds? The classic answer? “I’m undecided.” Or do I even want to go to college at all. I’ve known too many who never use their degrees. I’m on the brink of something, and though it’s easy to sink back into the familiarity of routine I’m ever conscious that that rug will be pulled out from under me someday soon.
I’m facing the world with God on my side hoping He’ll lead me to where I should go. I’m trying new things, and venturing out, but still keeping home base in sight. Soon my strength will be tested; this root system strained. Will I hold through the storm? I’ve watched so many fall. It scares me. Yet, I find courage in the fact that I am not alone, for the King of the world is on my side, and even though he hasn’t told me where I’m headed yet what do I have to fear?