Live Life LOUD

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I don’t like mediocrity. I like people who are real, and honest, and vulnerable. I don’t like people who settle for normal, and fit in. I like  the idea of living life loud and un-scumbled, but it’s so easy to fade in- losing one bit of individuality at a time until mediocrity has overcome and I am living for them instead of for my Creator. My life tends to go in cycles. I pledge to myself that I’ll not let normalcy overcome me and live valiantly for a while, but then comes the slow fade. Eventually I revive, and the cycle starts again. I don’t like being trapped in cycles; it frustrates me.

Now, I’m reviving again, and this time the cold splash in the face has been two songs from a genre I don’t usually listen to. Of course there are other things too. Other songs (like “Never Going Back to OK” by The Afters),  stories, events… I finally read the first book of The Hunger Games (way behind the times, I know.) It was good.  Submitting a very vulnerable piece to read at writers day… I did that weeks ago because even though I had other plans initially I knew I was supposed to.

I do wish I could break this cycle, but there is also the appeal of normalcy. It’s been an interesting week. Reading that piece in front of twenty or so of my peers. People respect you when you’re real. Be vulnerable and they’ll call you strong. Sometimes. And then there was the punch, which would have been more effective as an uppercut. He deserved it anyways. Like I said, it’s been an interesting week.

And I have come to the conclusion ( tell me if you think I’m wrong) that you can’t live loud like Jesus without also being like Peter. Because I’m not perfect, and if I’m going to live life with intensity then both my successes and my failures will be immensely huge.  Which, I think, is why we live halfheartedly- because It’s  safe. And some of us don’t care as much about safety as we do about honesty so we live in cycles as if that really is so much better.

And so I shall see what this next week brings. Living loud is dangerous. The emotions in response to success and failure are not always what I think they should be. But I would venture to say that it’s worth it.  I’m still living this adventure, still stuck in this frustrating cycle, but I’ll make the most of being on the top of the Ferris Wheel. Maybe eventually I’ll figure out how to unstrap these restraints, and live life louder. I’ll keep you guys posted on my crazy life; I have no more clue what’s ahead then you all. ‘Till then let me urge you to live life LOUD and let me know how it goes. The only way we can make it through this is together.

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Categories: Poems, rants, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , | 4 Comments

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4 thoughts on “Live Life LOUD

  1. Linda Turner

    Love your transparency. Linda T

  2. Before I get lost in my wandering thoughts, I want to ask a question: What is Writer’s Day? Something at school, or a writing group you are part of? Just curious.

    Onward to ponderings!

    In regards to both your complaint about living life in cycles and observation about being like Peter I think it can be said, “You don’t become mature in a day.”

    By a certain measure we don’t become mature at all in this life, for in the eyes of eternity all our days here are bit the shortest childhood. That philosophic point being granted, I think as we grow more mature in our lives (whether we are simply speaking about worldly things, or in regards to spiritual matters) I think it is right to expect less of the great vicilitating swings in life. But you don’t grow up in a day, so I think you have may more years of this too look forward too 😉

    And, truly, to a certain measure such things will plauge us all our lives. If we are living, things are not staying the same. And if we are not perfect, than things will not always be getting better. This being so, there will always be a somewhat cyclic element to life. The goal is to end up each cycle more mature.

    In regards to your statement about being like Peter if we are going to Live out Loud for Jesus….I think I would alter that statement slightly and say that we start out like Peter and ought to make it our aim to end up like Paul. That is, we start out like Peter in the gospels, and should aim to end up like Paul lived out Loud for Jesus as recorded in Acts and his epistles.

    Of course, that leaves us much to ponder in regards to the example of Paul and what that means for our own lives.

    I hope your next week is even more interesting–in a good way! (All this talk of “interesting times” reminds me of the reputed Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times”)

    • Well, I already answered your first question in my e-mail, but for anyone who’s still curious it’s a one day critique workshop at my school. But now, onward to ponderings!

      Sigh, yes, I know, many more years.It’s a tedious picture. Your switch from Peter to Paul intrigues me. I suppose I’ve always associated myself more with Peter than Paul. Telling people outright to follow me, that they may be following Jesus (as Paul does often) has never seemed like a plausible goal, but I’m probably putting God in a box bay saying that.

      I’ve never heard of that Chinese curse before. Very amusing. 😉 Hopefully I’ll get this weeks adventures up soon. They’ve been slow in coming to words.

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