Passion & The Shaping of Stories

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI love the people. I’ve said that before from this platform with certainty. I’ve said it so many times because it is deeply true. The people are my passion, my love, my joy, and often the reason for my sorrows. I’ve wondered before if I could make it through the isolation test they put the astronauts through. I think the answer is yes…praying for the people.

It came in the mail last week, yet another college flier. I opened it because I hadn’t heard of that college before, and I liked the words on the cover. It was different. Inside above the list of majors was a poster which read “I’m______________, My Passion Is______________________” I’ve been thinking about those blanks this week, or more accurately about what should go in them. Currently I’m thinking something like “I”m a child of the King, my passion is His passion…people. ” which is, I’m sure, not at all what they were looking for. But it is the truth.

I’ve been wondering if I’ll be able to make it next year without the people. Without that generation, without my passion. And where can I love on the people the most? There is a major called humanities that draws me, but everyone says it is useless. I don’t want to spend my life on useless. So I wait in indecision while the earth goes around the sun. How can I leave the greatest mark on the people? That is the question at hand. I don’t know the answer.

Obsession is something I try not to do. I don’t want to miss now living in the future. I’m trying to love the people now, and I’m seeing the effects of that effort, though they may be small. She wanted to walk with me for gym. She with the pink hair, spiderbite rings, and burden. Her burden is displayed prominently on her leg — a tattoo gravestone, a date. She wanted to sit with me in bio. She with the blond hair and perfect fashion sense. I know her half sister, a sixth grader, but she doesn’t know that. I know of her boyfriend. I knew his last girl. They are precious in the King’s eyes and thus precious in mine. Some of them I have a harder time appreciating.

Letting the future loom I lose appreciation for today. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own, but I can’t seem to stop wondering and maybe worrying a little bit about future days. If I had a Facebook maybe it’s status would read “seeking direction”. Living without planning is something I’m good at in the short term, but in the long term it scares me a bit. Stories are shaped by choices. Not all choices are between good and bad; some are equally good, but different, though they both lead to the sea eventually. So I’ll live today, and wonder about tomorrow and what God would have me do with the passion He’s given me.

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Categories: My Life, Ponderings | Tags: , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

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6 thoughts on “Passion & The Shaping of Stories

  1. I’m so glad to hear you’ve regained your passion! Been praying for this! Let’s praise God together! As you look back on your journey, note the up and down, and the next time you’re down, fix your eyes firmly on Him and the truth that He loves you and has you exactly in His purpose – the enemy is defeated and you are an over-comer!

    • It comes a little at a time. Lately I’ve been praying for those I’m struggling with, and it helps. The passion comes and goes, but it’s Giver stays the same.

  2. One thing I am discovering is that living while planning is actually equally terrifying. I guess because in the end, planning or not planning, we’re still looking toward the future. I feel like that I either need a much shorter perspective (like, just today) or a much greater perspective (eternity), but that anything in between gets me in trouble.

  3. I was going to say I don’t like those “I’m______________, My Passion Is______________________” questions because it is like they are trying to reduce people down to one thing. Putting us in neat little boxes. But you got around that with your expansive answer 😉

    Good comment from Titi, too.

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