I have sought. I have been helped in the seeking by those I love. I have sought and resolved the turbulence for myself, and despite the desperate tone of my last post I can say that this struggle has been good because it has helped me to grow. Sometimes it takes a lot to get out of a rut. Fighting for what I thought I knew–God loves the world, God wants everyone to come to Him, but He wants them to come by choice– has helped me to not take those things for granted, and, as usual, my struggle has led me back first to God and then to the people.
God is good. Salvation is written up on the hearts of men because God wants them to love and choose Him. Salvation by grace through faith is available to all. If those statements aren’t true hope is lost, and my heart for the people is forfeit. As things stand my actions make a difference. This is my last chance with the people and that matters. I sought answers and I found them. Now those answers rekindle my smoldering passion.
I cannot afford to not live like Jesus. I cannot afford to blend in. I don’t have time to be ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ! My God loves the people even when they turn from Him, and in His great grace and mercy He has made a hope and a future available to them…us, humanity, the world. Now it is my job as a lover of my God to proclaim this hope to all, everyone, no exceptions. I ask Him to let me see them as He does. I ask Him to shine through me so that when they look at my life they see Him not me.
I will fail, for I am human. And sometimes the people will fail to respond even though it’s not my fault. As J. I. Packer says “…the terms of our calling are that we should be faithful, not that we should be successful…” I may fail, and they may not respond, but I must try. I must try to live fully, try to “…LIVE like grace is free to all and go spread it like a three your old with peanut butter-get it all over everything!” as wildernesswanderer said in his comment on my last post. I must try to represent my holy, awesome God because if I do not try then I will have truly failed. Not trying means not responding to Jesus glorious love. If I have grasped even the tiniest fraction of Him then I must try.
And so I shall, haltingly, imperfectly try to represent my Jesus to a hurting, needy world. It is impossible to navigate any turbulence without him. They need Him. They need a Savior.