I don’t believe in coincidences, so when I pray and He hears and He comes up in the conversation the next day I think it’s a reason to celebrate. He’s done this before– different ways, different prayers, different times, but apparently I’m as forgetful as the Children of Israel and the Disciples combined because it never ceases to amaze me. I’m still not perfect…I didn’t ask for His help when He came up as it totally slipped my mind, but He is working. He can work through flawed people like me. He gets the glory; I certainly can’t win anyone. All I can do is stand and watch open mouthed as He works.
And I pray. I always pray. I pray with imperfect pleading prayers, begging that He will give me His eyes for the people and pleading that He will work in their hearts. I pray and I grow discouraged when I see no results. I used to be better at praying without ceasing, at interweaving prayer into my day, but I lost that somewhere along the way. I’m working to get it back. I need prayer’s lifeline between me and my Father, for without Him I can do nothing– except incite chaos of course. I am very good at that.
I need the Father’s help to be gentle. Gentleness is not my strong point, but I know it is much more effective than yelling and head bashing. I need His words, His love, and His life flowing through my being. I can only get those things by spending time with Him because I breath out what I breath in, and my life echoes the quality of my devotional times lately. Isn’t that a scary thought? Yes, I am far from where I ought to be, but for today I will be happy that the Father is listening and working. I will be grateful that He is (Maybe?) using me. I will keep praying and seeking to grow, for He will not turn me away. He says “Seek me and you shall find me when you seek me with all you heart.”