Rereading books, revisiting truths I knew but have somehow lost grip of along the way, beginning to slowly let go of places that have grown me so much these last years, rediscovering hope…these are the things I’ve been doing lately. Each of these have contributed to this one thing: today I feel fulfilled. I know that I am where God wants me for now. I’m relishing the pleasures God has given me currently and trying to keep perspective on hurt and disappointments in relation to eternity. I’m growing.
Last time I mentioned books here I was asked for specific titles. This time I will share without prompting, as these books contain much of the truth that I’ve been reveling in, and have helped me to rediscover hope. The list is as follows: An Anthology of Madness, The Case for Faith, Lord Foulgrin’s Letters, and The Slumber of Christianity. I’ll add here another new discovery of mine–The BASIC Series, by Francis Chan, and then stop listing materials before I sound like an ad. Many times I’ve felt that we bury truth, as I stated in my poem. We make truth hard to get by trying to make it updated, safe, or pretty. Truth is rarely safe or conventionally beautiful, so we quickly lose meaning in tampering with it. It’s been refreshing and exciting to re-read non-buried truths, the basics we often skirt around because we hold them to be self evident. Depth is especially important to me since I met the people. They despise all that is counterfeit, shallow, or too easy to swallow, so it’s doubly important not to manipulate Jesus’ message to appear to be that. Meaninglessness is actually much less attractive than meaning. Shouldn’t that be self evident too?
I thank God that I am still living among the simple, complex people in the people place for the moment, despite the fact that I am coming to grips with letting go of it in the near future. The people make me happy. They, more than anything else currently, are pushing me to know God more. Did you know God can use the unsaved to inspire growth as much as or more than the church? He is great, isn’t He? I’m hoping not to have to release these people entirely by utilizing technology and the connections it helps us to retain, but it will still be hard to leave. Despite connections nothing will ever be the same. There will be a lot of letting go soon–several new places to embrace. I’m ready, though. I’m as ready as I can possibly get for the changes. Change can be good, it can be exciting. I wonder who God will place me with in the future, even as I try to represent Him where I am as best I can today.
My life is but a vapor in light of eternity. Still, it feels good to be fulfilled. It feels right to be immersed in truth, and growth, and change for the moment. That is not to say that everything is perfect; I have struggles now as always. I cannot escape humaness any more than any other mortal, but seeing the so called “breath of Heaven” is worth living for. Foretastes of glory here are precious. Moments of peace and satisfaction are to be cherished as whisperings of The Kingdom. So I am embracing this moment, and sharing it. Maybe it will encourage you. There will be better days. As P.O.D. says “It can’t rain forever.” As the Bible says (Deut. 4:29) “Seek God, and you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart.”