Interesting fact: One of the people has been here now. I don’t know what I think of that. Above all I strive to be honest and real, and giving him the keys to this place was both of those things in extreme. I do not regret my choice. I don’t regret my choice, but I wonder…
I wonder if I speak too much Christian-eze here. I wonder if I present enough of the evidence that demands a verdict. There is evidence, you know. One of the things I appreciate about my parents is that they’ve let me ask hard questions and seek that evidence. Instead of rigidly stating ” This is the truth. Believe us.” they’ve said “This is the truth.” and proved their belief in that statement by allowing me to cross examine the truth, investigate other philosophies, and to confirm that their truth is The Truth for myself.
Initially I wondered if the person would even come here, and if he did come how much he would read. He came. He said he read a bit. He wasn’t turned off. Sometimes I think that I over-think everything. Sometimes I think that a part of me really doesn’t believe what I try to hold to–that transparency is the best option, that being open, raw, and real in life (and especially about God) is more attractive than the perfection facade. I ought to believe it because it’s proven to be true repeatedly, but each time I open up and bare my soul I am am scared. Sometimes I think revealing your naked soul and trusting someone is the ultimate form of bravery. I guess I’m returning to the catch word which I probably overused when I first started this blog: vulnerability.
It is scary to be vulnerable, but it is also rewarding. Friendships don’t grow without the revelation of all sides of a person. To be cliche, new (silver) friends never turn to gold (old) without the unveiling of the good, the bad, and the ugly. Someone has to start it. And why should someone trust my truth to be real if I’m living a lie–unwilling to display my real self to the world?
Really, there are only so many truths to be stated. Really, truth transcends the seasons of the journey. With that said, I will unabashedly restate two truths I’ve repeated many times from this platform. First, be real. Beautiful masks are actually less compelling that a sometimes ugly reality. Second, seek God. Don’t be afraid to question and doubt. Questioning and doubting are good if you allow them to push you to uncover truth. Those two gems have served me well during my brief existence. What truths have helped you?