Posts Tagged With: Philosophy


All the lies I let myself believe, will they someday haunt me, be whispered in my sleep? Tell me true, for there is there is value in honesty. I realize that I shoot myself in the foot with the same regularity as I eat, and I’m not foolish enough to believe that that’s mostly for the cause of enabling others, though it is occasionally.

I’m more selfish than I want to be; sometimes it’s hard to believe there is yet goodness in me. Once I had convinced myself I was artsy, but now I know that I’m just angsty… the drama queen I always strove not to be. Are we ever who we want, in reality?

Fame is fleeting, as is beauty. I’ve been lucky enough not to be granted either in excess. Nor do I have great knowledge, though I once thought I liked philosophy  Philosophists’ agonizing over-analyzing killed that theory. Yet, even in these words I seek to be more known. In everything I am the antithesis of all I hoped to be. I show, in all things, too much of my humanity, which I’m told is tacky…but I always admired vulnerability.

There are moments I wish I could freeze, but really nothing is all that we remember it to be. In conclusion, I’ll refrain from over-speculation on where I see myself, let alone our nation in any span of time: a month, a year… Though, through ash colored glasses, I see myself not much closer to my destination, yet closer to death. Make what you will of that prediction. Kind salutations to you on your trek, whose path crossed with mine on this occasion. Fare thee well.

Categories: Poems | Tags: , , , , , | 1 Comment

Intangible God

DSCN1089In so many ways I cling to the tangible in my friendships–my imperfect, cluttered human relationships, none of which go as deep as I would like. I can’t see friends’ souls so I cling to smirks and gestures which are  the displayers of emotion, of soul behind skin. I cling to the tangible so it’s hard to claim to have a relationship with the unseeable, intangible One who already knows me better than I know myself. Sometimes I say I can feel His smile, but that’s not the same as seeing it; sometimes I think I can hear Him speak,  His words but a whisper on the wind, but that’s not the same as knowing a person by his voice. Now we see dimly, but someday we shall see face to face. I’m not patient though. I don’t want to wait for this elusive someday. I have no choice.

See, the curtain ripped but not all was revealed. I’m still dealing with the results of the fall, and (sometimes subconsciously) longing for something more. I can never know God well here on this earth, though I try, for my life here is but a shadow and a mist. Even so I must live for the fraction of Him that I do know. While still here I must strive to know more of God, and to serve Him with all of my being. I doubt that I will ever know God fully, not even in eternity, but then at least I shall see Him. I wonder what will be like to see someone I’ve known all my life but never seen. I wonder if his revealment will be the perfect fulfillment, a kind of duh moment– “Of course that’s what He looks like!”–or if seeing God will totally surprise me and unveil Him in ways I had never thought to see Him before.

I feel that what I am writing may be very difficult to follow. I know it is unpolished at best. This, among other reasons, is why I’ve not been writing lately. It’s not that I’ve not been thinking and growing, but rather that my thoughts grow increasingly more intertwined and harder to categorize as working towards a cohesive point or goal as the days drag on. Doesn’t that sound deep and philosophical?

Categories: My Life, Ponderings | Tags: , , , , , | 9 Comments

Liquid vs. Solid

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAIt’s easy (in some respects) to throw around big words — predestination, complimentarian, Arminian, patriarchal, sovereignty , omnipotence… — like candy at a parade, and (in some respects) they are equally insubstantial. I can argue theology all I want, but by it’s very definition faith isn’t based on reason. Faith is based on impossibilities, simplicity, and paradoxes. I am mortal and finite. I do not understand the immortal and infinite, but I do understand that the “My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty there’s nothing my God cannot do.” And, in reality, that’s all I need to understand, though it’s fun to dig a little deeper once in a while.

But how can there be a deeper? I will never fully comprehend the grace of the gospel or know God’s power in this lifetime. This I know, but need to keep in mind as I engage in my beloved theological debates and discoveries. “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.” , and (in some respects), on nothing more. I need nothing more than to (a) acknowledge my sin problem,(b) ask Christ in His grace to clean the slate, and (c) to grow spiritually and continually in Him. I don’t need my debates if they sidetrack me from that journey and that purpose, but if they build… Philosophy and theology are pointless as ideas. As N. D. Wilson says “Christianity is no good at all as an idea. Stop thinking that asserted proposition is the same thing as faith.” It’s easy to fall into thinking that, you know?

So I write this, as a reminder to myself of the things I already know but tend to forget, as an incentive to put into practice the things I am writing here, as a record of where I am on this journey –attempting to abandon high minded ideas for concrete, lived out faith. It’s not as easy as it seems like it should be.

Too often numbness seeps in unnoticed, and I don’t react in wonder to the awesomeness of the world around me until someone points it out. Too often my hope grows thin, and I become stuck in routine and ritual, forgetting the joy of Heaven, and somehow immune to it’s foretastes here on earth. Perhaps it’s lack of faith, or overexposure to the amazing. “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Faith is not discussing the incomprehensible mind of God ’til I have worn out the topic. If it’s as big as my Bible, and the natural world says it is then no one can define it anyways. But we will try valiantly to box God. (Does He laugh or cry at that?)

Mind you, I am not leaving the land of ideas, far from it. I am just taking a short hiatus to plant my feet firmly on the ground, and to remind myself of what is really important. Then, and only then, with my priorities in order, will I march back into the place of liquid thought, and dabble in big words and concepts. Faith first, and then philosophy.

Categories: Journey Prologues., My Life, Ponderings | Tags: , , , , , , | 3 Comments


Everyone has a philosophic side. Even our gym teacher (a.k.a. the wrestling coach) and probably the teacher who is most rough around the edges in the whole school will occasionally have a burst of genius and spread his wings in the zone of philosophy. The following displays the philosopher in me quite clearly, though it seems to be showing through a lot lately on here…

All people desire to be the same: to be accepted, to be embraced, to be loved. And, all people yearn to be different: to be special, unique, to leave impact. One need only  walk down the halls of any school campus to see this. The sports fanatic grabbing homework from his locker to bring home after practice, the goth girl on the corner dressed in black. Honor roll students head to their meeting as the metal-clad rebels hang out by the pop machines. Movies have been made, books written, and movements developed around this topic, (It’s a Wonderful Life, Scrooge, the Rebelution ) possibilities for positive and negative impact have been explored. But really, it all comes down to an individual’s choices and the effects these decisions have on his or her life… and the world. So, what choices am I going to make? How will they affect me, and you; people today, and in the future?

It’s really not hard to be different. It’s not hard to choose a road less traveled by; there are thousands of these roads to choose from. The deciding factor is whether or not we take the road less travelled by as indicated in Frost’s poem. Determining the path we should take, and the journey on which to embark is a question that has plagued mankind throughout history. The question college students to be contemplate incessantly, the decision the older generation often mourns.  And yet, no compass is there to tell  which way you should go in accordance with where you have come from. So we are left to choose the kind of different we want to be. Some succeed, some fail miserably, and some take the easy road and go with the flow as only a dead thing can.

It is not a choice to be made only once in a lifetime; it is the choice we make every day in what we say and what we don’t, what we wear and how we act. Who we trust, how we react, where we go, where we stay… How will I use the short lifetime I have been granted to impact and imprint the brief lives of others around me? It’s a scary thought that no one else can make these decisions for us. Our fate is up to us and our decisions. Adolf Hitler was different, so was Mother Teresa. In a world where “This will make you different!” is displayed on every street corner, and “This will make you fit in!” is the sign on every storefront confusion is inevitable, and  living unaffected is impossible. I would rather try than go with the flow, even if it means being trampled sometimes as I fight upstream. But right now I have to choose my battles and seek direction from my Savior. I don’t have all the answers, but I know the One who does. This is my sole encouragement as I seek to be different in every way that counts.

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